Saved From A Hell I Did Not Know
by Physco Wolf
Summary: Every soldier is marred with scars, every man is marred with scars, every woman is marred with scars, but no child should ever have to be marred with scars...


**A life story about being saved...**

Every soldier is marred with scars, every man is marred with scars, every woman is marred with scars, but no child should ever have to be marred with scars.

_There's no way to find out what's inside you  
Until you fall into the hole  
You dug for yourself while you slept here  
Too young, too selfish, too cold  
And when you find out what's been waiting  
The moment you open your eyes  
You'll see your true reflection  
The very first time in your life_

Standing in front of a mirror staring at my marred body is a routine in my fucked up life. Saying that daily routine speech like I was trained to do. "I am nothing, I am here to serve my father and nothing more." I am to repeat that every day looking in my reflection of this old mirror. Who am I? I am Sara Sidle, 13 years old.

_You can not fight what's in you  
This will not be denied  
You can not fight what's in you  
This will not be denied_

I am to serve him and him alone. He murdered my mother with a simple pull of a trigger on a shot gun and made me clean up the mess and bury the body. Her head was blown right off leaving parts of flesh, blood, and bone. I had to stand right next to him when he did it, the fear was visible in her eyes but their was also relief in her eyes. Probably glad to leave this hell I suppose. I buried the body underneath a shady willow tree. She loved that tree, she would hide there for hours and father would never find her.

_Cry to yourself  
Nothing will help  
It's too late to change what's been done  
You do what you've always done best  
You run_

No tears were shed that night, I didn't have any tears left to shed. I guess I can thank all that crying I did when I was younger. Living out in the country isn't exactly a bad thing, you can pretty much get away with anything you want, even murder.

A lot of times I can see my mother when I sleep, a lot of times I see disappointment from her but sometimes I see her happy. But when I see her happy those are the days father raped me. I don't know what she's smiling for.

_Into the hole you fall deeper  
Deeper the faster you run  
It wont stop until you accept it  
Accept everything that you've done_

When I hit puberty that stopped. The raping's stopped, but the beatings didn't. The beatings became worse with each passing day. As the beatings became worse I could no longer see my mother when I was asleep. Instead I saw her being killed over and over.

One time father brought home a lady that was beautiful but she did something I never expected. She made him pass out. I don't know how but she did. I remember she grabbed my hand and told me that she was here to save me. I had no clue what she was trying to save me from. I didn't ask any questions I just went with her. The only question I asked her that night was, "What's your name?" "Carol."

_You can not fight what's in you  
This will not be denied  
You can not fight what's in you  
This will not be denied_

She took me to her house and I met her daughter, Catherine and her sister, Nancy. I asked her why she brought me here and she answered, "Because no child should have to go through what you have." I still had no clue what she talking about but I didn't care cause she gave me food and clothes. At first she gave me some of Catherine's girly clothes but I didn't like them. I told her I was use to boy clothes and felt comfortable in them. She didn't shout at me or anything, she went out and bought me some, she said that she'd would take us all shopping on the weekend.

_Cry to yourself  
Nothing will help  
It's too late to change what's been done  
You do what you've always done best  
You run_

When I got older I started to have weird feelings for Catherine. I didn't know what it was and when I talked to Nancy about it she said it was a crush. I had no idea what that was and I didn't like the feeling of it because I never felt it before.

I never saw my father again and never heard from him. I was glad. When Carol asked about my mother I didn't know what to say. She must've known because she told me it was ok. When I told her that she was murdered she called the police. I didn't what was happening, I thought I was in trouble so I ran and hid in my room that they gave me, underneath the bed.

I could hear them call me but I didn't move from underneath the bed. I don't know how but Catherine found me. She told me everything was going to be ok. She even kissed me. When I came out from underneath the bed Carol asked me what happened she gasped when I answered her. I remember Carol, Catherine, and Nancy hugging me tightly.

_Cry to yourself  
Nothing will help  
It's too late to change what's been done  
You do what you've always done best  
You run_

Who am I? I'm Sara Sidle 32 years old. I lived through a living hell and found love with Catherine Willows. Well now she's Catherine Sidle. And now I have a beautiful daughter, Lindsey Sidle. Who I will always love and protect, both of them. And I will always protect Carol and Nancy, my family, my life, forever and always.

Lyrics used, Linkin Park's song State Of The Art. Reviews please.


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